2nd February 2015

I feel like I have matured a little tonight.

I finally let out my frustrations, anger and tears without hurting anyone. I was really so pissed and have tolerated for a few months already. Don't wish to say what is it about here but after this incident, I promised myself I am not going to let it get to me ever again. If I can't do that at least I will just ignore, not take it to heart and just let it go. It's not my life anyway and I'm not in the position to say what's right and what's not to you. When we were arguing a feeling kept nudging in my heart and I know I can't say harsh words to you because you don't deserve it after all the good things you have done for me. But that certainly does not mean I don't feel wronged. I just don't want my words to hurt anyone. Hence, I told someone who's not involved instead. Having vented my frustrations I feel a whole lot better and can finally let go of what has been annoying me for a period of time.

With that said, it's a case closed for me now and even if the same thing happened again I'd be sure to not react the same way as I did tonight.

Some updates

Reminding myself everyday to not feel so anxious and over-think stuff. The reason behind? I am changing course!!! It sounds crazy to do it when I have 1 year left to graduate - 8 months to be exact, excluding holidays. In addition, I have paid for my second sem school fees already. Actually during the registering of classes for the current sem and even before paying the fees, something in my heart told me this is not what I want. But I thought, maybe things are not as bad as I thought? That maybe I can survive another Semester just like I did previously? Oh boy was I wrong. During and after attending the visiting lectures, I was beginning to regret and started thinking whether did I made the wrong decision.

Then came one day, I don't know what happened or why. I just woke up feeling no this is wrong, totally wrong and I should not continue anymore. I immediately went to research on ways to change course and get back my school fees.

So... right now I'm in the midst of applying for Leave of Absence. For one whole Semester. Which means I can only start school in July if everything goes smoothly. I must be crazy right? Wasting time and precious money. But according to the officer from school, he said it's possible to transfer credits from the core modules I've completed so I can start from the second Semester in the new course. Something like a partial transcript? For proof/evidence. I have to re-enroll again too. Anyway, I have to wait for a week or two before the results are out and I really pray hard it will be approved. Pretty please?

Oh man what have I done to my life. It's sooo complicating now...

Switch : by Timbre

Felt like I'm in crisis mode for the past couple of days. But I think I finally found a solution this afternoon. Hopefully everything goes well and smoothly. Obstacles, problems and troubles please go away!!! Also at this period of time I found people who really care about me, thank you so much G & R!! Ahhhh I love my friends :)

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The best group of girlfriends I can ever asked for.